NO LONGER YOUNG
Same old story.
A TRASHED-OUT CAR IS A TURN-OFF
That box with the dead cat in it isn’t helping.
EVERY HOT DOG TAKES 35 MINUTES OFF YOUR LIFE
Nathan’s Famous…death dogs.
HUMANS ARE HARDWIRED FOR LAZINESS
Took two universities to come up with this conclusion.
HOW TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE REMEMBER YOUR NAME
Oh, they’ll remember you.
DUMB HEADLINES
Exceptional dumbness this week. Must be the heat.
OH MY GOD, NOW PEOPLE AREN’T SITTING ENOUGH
I got a bad case of the sits.
THE TOP RESTAURANT CHAINS OF 2026
Which one is McMissing from this list?
INAPPROPRIATE GUESTS
How rude.
ROOMMATES SHARE A LOT OF BACTERIA
Close quarters.