PUTIN GAVE A MOTORCYCLE TO AN ALASKAN MAN
You take motorcycle. Now give me Alaska.
NEW JERSEY PARENTS FACE JAIL TIME IF KIDS BREAK LAW
No incorrigibility!
TEACHER ARRESTED FOR DUI IN BETWEEN CLASSES, SECOND DAY OF SCHOOL
Those that can’t, teach. Those that teach, drink.
RIDE-ALONG ACCIDENTALLY EJECTS FROM FIGHTER PLANE ON THE RUNWAY
What does this button do?
PILOT CANCELS FLIGHT, WAS “NOT REALLY FEELING IT”
No one wants a pilot with a sense of adventure anymore.
NEIGHBOR BLASTS TRAIN HORN EVERY DAY
Horny neighbor.
FLORIDA SNAKE HUNT WINNER NAMED
Snake snatcher.
WOMAN FRAMES LATE HUSBAND’S TATTOO
Not creepy at all.
WOMAN ARRESTED FOR SHOOTING HER CELL PHONE
a.k.a. “Pulling an Elvis.”