93-YEAR-OLD GOLFER MAKES HOLE IN ONE, QUITS GOLF
Quitter.
FLEEING SUSPECT CAPTURED BY FALLING PANTS
Pants on the ground.
SOMEONE TRIED TO MAIL A FERRET
Well, what else are you supposed to do with them?
HEALTH INSPECTORS NOW CLAMPING DOWN ON HARDWARE STORE POPCORN
Dropping the hammer on hardware stores.
CHAINSAW RECALL
They keep running after being turned off.
NURSES PROTEST NAME OF "ZUCKERBERG GENERAL HOSPITAL"
The Zuckerberg name is scaring patients.
25-YEAR-OLD MAN POSES AS HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT
Star basketball player.