DRUNK DRIVER TO POLICE: "CAN'T WE ALL MOVE ON FROM THIS?"
No, we can’t.
SCHOOL WON'T LET LITTLE GIRL HAVE A "BEST FRIEND"
Not ‘inclusive’ enough.
LEAN CUISINE INTRODUCES NEW MEAL PLAN NAMED AFTER LARGE RODENT
Somebody just got fired, you bet.
HOMEOWNER FINDS NAKED WOMAN IN BATHTUB EATING CHEETOS
Dangerously cheesy!
SUSPECT SINKS IN SWAMP MUD
Up to his neck.
MAN SHOOTING FLAMING ARROW FALLS OFF CLIFF
It was to be a romantic gesture for his wife.
SON TAKES MOM TO THE PROM
Not creepy at all.
BUTTERFLY STOLEN
The rare Blue Morpho.