STRANGER LIVING IN COUPLE’S CRAWL SPACE
He had furniture.
THE NUDISTS ARE REVOLTING
Get crackin’!
TJ MAXX SHOPLIFTERS CAUGHT IN NEARBY WENDY’S DRIVE-THRU
Do you want fries with your arrest?
4-YEAR-OLD GENIUS ACCEPTED INTO MENSA
A literal smarty-pants.
DISPATCH DETAILS DEMONIC DETECTIVE’S DEATH, DENIES DEVIL DOLL DONE IT
Annabelle is in the clear.
NEW JERSEY MAN BREAKDANCES HIS QUESTION TO THE TOWN COUNCIL
Dancing about architecture.
SUSPECT ESCAPES FROM MUD BATH
Police hit pay dirt.
MAN LOCATES STOLEN LUGGAGE, THIEF WEARING HIS CLOTHES
At least he found clothesure.
MAN CRASHES CAR INTO TWO HOUSES TRYING TO RUN OVER EX-GIRLFRIEND
I don’t suppose couseling would have helped here.