INVENTOR OF “TICKLE ME ELMO” DIES
Ha ha!!— I mean, boo-hoo.
POSSIBLE BURGLAR STUCK IN WALL FOR 10 HOURS
Wall-to-wall excitement.
LAS VEGAS HEART ATTACK GRILL CLOSING
Cardiac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac.
CALIFORNIA LOOKING INTO HIGH-SPEED BUSES
Pop quiz, hotshot.
MAN SUES POKEMON FOR DENYING HIM PROFESSORSHIP
They catch ’em all, even the misdemeanors.
MAN BUSTED FOR DWI WHILE PICKING UP HIS FRIEND, WHO WAS ARRESTED FOR DWI
The Drunken Circle of Life.
BREATH FRESHENER FOR DOG BREATH
Science marches on.
CAKE SET ON FIRE AFTER BOYFRIEND CHEATED
Flaming pie.
TRUCKLOAD OF 25 MILLION BEES RESCUED
Oh, honey.