37 SECONDS OF GAS PASSING, AS REVIEWED BY A.I.
“The core melody is solid.”
CHICAGO WHITE SOX HOLDING POPE HAT NIGHT
It’s packin’ the pews.
OREO TRIES OUT DILL PICKLE-FLAVORED OREOS
Doesn’t mean you have to.
FLORIDA WOMAN WRECKS SUBWAY OVER UNWANTED PEPPERS
There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
KID ROBS STORE WITH A BRICK
Mortarfied.
PIPE BOMB FUN
That’s entertainment.
MAN WITH OUTSTANDING WARRANT APPLIES FOR POLICE JOB
He copped to it.
SNAKE BITE MAN
For Duty and Humanity.
96 BANANAS STOLEN FROM WAWA
Approximately.