CORONER ACCUSED OF TAKING REMAINS HOME TO USE AS ROSE FERTILIZER
Ashes to ashes, dust to (rose) dust.
BANK ROBBER'S NAME WAS ON STICK-UP NOTE
But that’s not how they caught him.
DEAD MAN WANTS ASHES SCATTERED IN A TORNADO
V.I.P. (Vortex in Peace)
MCDONALD'S SUED OVER UNWANTED CHEESE
In Florida.
YOGA GOAT GIVES BIRTH DURING GOAT YOGA CLASS
Ommmm…my goodness!
MAN TO SWIM ACROSS THE PACIFIC OCEAN
He’s already swum the Atlantic.
GUY MISTAKENLY RUNS A FULL MARATHON
Didn’t listen to the instructions.
AUDIO: FROOT LOOPS TO GET NEW FLAVOR
Mmmm… purple.