MAN HOARDS STOLEN MEAT
Where’s the beef?
FENCE VANDALIZED AT CLOTHING-OPTIONAL PARK
Sorry, we’re clothed now.
LAWN MOWER RACING: LE MOW
It’s like Le Mans. Get it? Har.
PUTIN GAVE A MOTORCYCLE TO AN ALASKAN MAN
You take motorcycle. Now give me Alaska.
NEW JERSEY PARENTS FACE JAIL TIME IF KIDS BREAK LAW
No incorrigibility!
TEACHER ARRESTED FOR DUI IN BETWEEN CLASSES, SECOND DAY OF SCHOOL
Those that can’t, teach. Those that teach, drink.
RIDE-ALONG ACCIDENTALLY EJECTS FROM FIGHTER PLANE ON THE RUNWAY
What does this button do?
PILOT CANCELS FLIGHT, WAS “NOT REALLY FEELING IT”
No one wants a pilot with a sense of adventure anymore.
NEIGHBOR BLASTS TRAIN HORN EVERY DAY
Horny neighbor.