INSANE WIFE KILLER TO PLAY SANTA AT PUBLIC EVENT
It’s okay, he’s on his meds.
U.S. MINT STAMPS OUT THE LAST PENNY
Goodbye common cents.
FLORIDA WOMAN SPEEDS TO GET TO PIZZA SHOP BEFORE IT CLOSED
The 107 mph pizza.
THE APPLE iPHONE SOCK POCKET
Sock it to me.
PANCAKE BATTERS FATHER
A part of this concussive breakfast.
ITALIAN PASTA MAY DISAPPEAR FROM SHELVES
Use your noodle!
BEAR BREAKS INTO SAME HOUSE TWICE
Bear’s repeating.
BEAR STEALS CHAINSAW
Bear steals Stihl.
INFLUENTIAL TOY DESIGNER DIES
You knocked my block off.