FLORIDA MAN STABBED AT GRUMPY’S BAR
Hi-ho.
NURSE RESCUES BABY RACCOON WITH CPR
Peach gobbler.
WOMAN’S CAR FLOATED INTO NO PARKING ZONE, GETS TICKETS
This was not a boating accident.
ELDERLY HIKER RESCUED BY TROOP OF BOY SCOUTS
That’s worth, like, at least seven badges, right?
STRANGER LIVING IN COUPLE’S CRAWL SPACE
He had furniture.
THE NUDISTS ARE REVOLTING
Get crackin’!
TJ MAXX SHOPLIFTERS CAUGHT IN NEARBY WENDY’S DRIVE-THRU
Do you want fries with your arrest?
4-YEAR-OLD GENIUS ACCEPTED INTO MENSA
A literal smarty-pants.
DISPATCH DETAILS DEMONIC DETECTIVE’S DEATH, DENIES DEVIL DOLL DONE IT
Annabelle is in the clear.
NEW JERSEY MAN BREAKDANCES HIS QUESTION TO THE TOWN COUNCIL
Dancing about architecture.