MAN DRIVES 132 MPH, LATE FOR JOB INTERVIEW
Go, Speed Racer, go!
MAN RUNS MARATHON WITH NO TRAINING
Put up or shut up.
CANDLE THEFT RING BUSTED
Not the brightest candles on the cake.
TEXAS WOMAN ENRAGED BY BAGPIPES
Moe! Larry! The cheese!
FRISBEE GOLFER ATTACKED BY HAMMERHEAD SHARK FROM THE SKY
This is not a boat accident!
TEXAS BILL WOULD FORCE CHANGE TO DORITOS, M&M’S, MORE
Not for human consumption.
COPS CALLED ON DISHEVELED DAD
Slob story.
WOMAN SUES OVER HOT DRAGON BALLS
Hot damn.
MAN STEALS, GETS OFF ON, POOL FLOATS
Whatever floats your boat.