DEPUTY SUBDUES THREATENING MAN WITH CANS OF BAKED BEANS
Bushwhacked.
TEACHER WHO FED PUPPY TO TURTLE CHARGED
Science is cool, er, cruel, kids.
DUI SUSPECT DRANK WINE, JUST LIKE JESUS
Or so she says.
ROBBER TAKES PEANUT BUTTER, WINDOW SCREEN
Something here doesn’t mesh.
BRIDE LOSES BET; HUSBAND WEARS EAGLES JERSEY AT WEDDING
Eagles won the Super Bowl.
AUDIO: WOMAN HAD METH IN HER ACCORDION
Not a euphemism.
VERMONT WILL PAY YOU TO LIVE THERE
(Some restrictions apply)
MAN MOONS JUDGE, IS JAILED FOR CONTEMPT
Knight of the full moon.
HAWAII: VACATION PARADISE (NEVER MIND THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT)
Tourist bookings are down. Go figure.