TOWN SICK OF DONUT FACTORY SMELL
D’ough!
FREAK ACCIDENT IN MCDONALD’S DRIVE THRU
Went for breakfast, now he’s toast.
MOUNTAIN RESCUE JUST SENDS UP A DRONE
Can I see a menu?
NAKED MAN TERRORIZES HOBBY LOBBY
And I hollered, “‘Don’t look, Ethel!’ But it was too late – she done been incensed.”
PRIVATE PLANE LANDS ITSELF
“Does anybody know how to land an airplane?” Doesn’t matter anymore!
BOYS 12, 11 AND 8 STEAL CAR, CRASH INTO HOUSE
Grand Theft Puberty.
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS ARE MOVING TO KANSAS CITY
Whoa, whoa, fellas— why such a drastic move?
POP-TARTS OFFERS LIVE VOTING FOR TARTS TEAM SACRIFICE
Does this not strike anybody as odd?
CAMEL KICKS CHRISTMAS WORSHIPER IN THE FACE
I’d walk a mile to avoid a Camel.