MUST-HAVES FOR A NEW HOUSE
In the next house we’re gonna have…
BURGLAR ATTEMPTS TO ROB HOME OF MMA FIGHTER
“Who lives in this house?” “Beats me.”
THE TACO BELL ULTRAMARATHON
I hate to eat and run.
DRIVER WHO RAN OVER PET DOG FORCED AT GUNPOINT TO DIG ITS GRAVE
That’s the Texas way.
MAN STUCK IN MOTORCYCLE PAINTING MACHINE
Townsfolk said he was known as a colorful character.
THREE BEARS IN THE NEWS
Goldilocks nowhere to be seen.
POST OFFICE INCREASING PRICES OVER THE HOLIDAYS
Demand pricing – new from your Post Office.