ROBOT WALKS THE MET GALA RED CARPET

At least it was instant.

Says, “I have to do an assessment about your habits. Do you drink?” The patient says, “No.” “Smoke?” “No.” “Do drugs?” “No.” “Cheat on your wife?” “Never.” “Amazing,” says the shrink. “Any bad habits at all?” The patient says, “Yeah. Lying.”

The batter.

Guy asks, “Can still write with that hand?” Doctor says, “Maybe, but I wouldn’t count on it.”

Hop scotch.