01 U.S. NEWS

A Florida tollbooth worker who had been on the job for nearly three decades was fired for paying a driver’s $5 toll. Vladislav Samsonov said that when he realized he charged a tractor-trailer driver too little earlier this month, he paid the difference out of his own pocket. “In my eyes there was no crime…

Joel Burger married Ashley King.

Shirtless, in a black robe and slippers.

“Life is short. Have an affair.”

“This isn’t a Weight Watchers cruise, it’s the goddamn Navy!”

He stole 103 cases of Five-hour Energy.

You’ll get salmonella.

He knocked over their table and swiped $30.

He shoplifted a putter, twice.

The Banana Derby.