HOMELESS MAN WALKS INTO SUPERMARKET WITH A SKULL
He was using it as a puppet.
800-POUND MAN KICKED OUT OF HOSPITAL FOR ORDERING PIZZA
And only 250 pounds to go before he could get the gastric bypass.
NASA FINDS WATER ON PLUTO
Oh stop already.
WOMAN GLUES EYE SHUT
Don’t panic, says a doctor.
COMPANY WILL CANCEL COMCAST FOR YOU FOR $5
They write a letter. Go figure.
MAN HAD METH LAB IN HIS PANTS
Police noticed Ruiz had a “chemical odor.”
MOST PEOPLE DON'T HAVE $1000 IN THE BANK
21% don’t even have a savings account.
NOW, A CO-PILOT PASSES OUT MID-FLIGHT
Tuesday morning.