70 TEEN GIRLS RESCUED FROM TOWN SEWERS
Worst field trip ever.
DRIVER TRAPPED IN CAR BY FALLING DEER
For deer life.
MOM ALLOWS DAUGHTER TO DRIVE, GETS RUN OVER
Them’s the brakes.
SCAMMER GETS PAID OFF IN CHOCOLATE GOLD COINS
Foiled again!
MAN SETS WOMEN’S PANTIES DEPARTMENT ON FIRE
Burning sensation.
WOMAN ATTEMPTS TO SWIM THE LENGTH OF CALIFORNIA
And the coast ain’t clear.
HIDDEN VALLEY RANCH LOOKING FOR “RANCHBASSADORS”
I hope they fired the person who came up with that word.
JUDGE THROWS OUT CASE, BOTH SIDES USED A.I.
Dude, do you even jurisprudence?
DWI SUSPECT ON THE RUN ATTACKED BY ALLIGATOR
Later, gator.
AUDIO: TV WEATHERMAN KEEPS BROADCASTING THROUGH STATION FIRE
Windy, with a chance of immolation.