ROBBER SPRAYS SELF WITH FIRE EXTINGUISHERS TO ELUDE POLICE
It didn’t work, of course.
RADIO STATION SIGNAL HIJACKED
Skiers had to listen to a podcast from upstate New York. This should be a federal crime.
DOCTORS REMOVE OCTOPUS FROM BOY'S THROAT
A small one, intended for sushi.
TEACHER GIVES STUDENTS PRIVILEGE SURVEY
In Spanish class.
DRUG SUSPECT ATTEMPTS TO ESCAPE ON HOVERBOARD
Key word: attempts.
15-FOOT COW-EATING ALLIGATOR CAUGHT, KILLED
In, of course, Florida.
ANTONIN SCALIA SCHOOL OF LAW
#ASSLaw.
COUPLE ARRESTED FOR TWEEZER ATTACK
Couple attacks each other with tweezers.
GANGSTER TURKEYS IN NEW JERSEY
What other kind would you expect in New Jersey?
WOMAN USED BARE HANDS TO GRAB LETTUCE FROM SALAD BAR
Twice. Oh – and punched an off-duty cop who scolded her.