19-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE SNOWFLAKE GETS LIFESIZE CUTOUT OF DOG HE WILL MISS
Puh-leeze.
MAN ROBS ICE CREAM TRUCK WITH ASSAULT RIFLE
That’s the Chicago way.
COMPANY CAUGHT BUYING UP ITS OWN PRODUCT
There’s a reason Just Mayo was selling so well.
WHAT IS THE WHITE HOUSE WORTH?
$250 million.
PROPELLER FALLS OFF STUDENT PILOT'S PLANE
They landed safely.
AMISH ARRESTED FOR DRUNK DRIVING
And, apparently, buggy surfing.
DRUNK MAN ARRESTED FOR HAVING SEX WITH A VAN
To be clear, the van was parked.
MCDONALD'S ELIMINATES KIDS FITNESS TRACKERS FROM HAPPY MEAL
They cause skin irritation.
FARMER AND 16 COWS DIE OF MANURE FUMES
A perfect s— storm.
BABY IN HOT CAR TURNS OUT TO BE LIFELIKE DOLL
“I put my finger in its mouth and it was all resistance.”