FISH ON A POWER LINE TAKES OUT TOWN'S ELECTRICITY
A salmon.
NITROUS OXIDE SHORTAGE MEANS NO WHIPPED CREAM
This is no laughing matter.
WAKE FOREST FOOTBALL RADIO ANNOUNCER IS A TRAITOR
Passing info to the opposition.
POLICE ROUND UP SUSPICIOUS DONKEYS
Suspicious loitering donkeys.
86-YEAR-OLD SERIAL JEWELRY THIEF
20 arrests on two continents over six decades.
GIRL IS ROLLERBLADING TO MIAMI
To show people there is more light than darkness in the world, obviously.
BANK ROBBER WRITES NOTE ON BACK OF REHAB DISCHARGE PAPERS
Also left his wallet and driver’s license.
ALL ABOARD THE "USS THE DEPLORABLES"!
Petition to name the next US warship.
MAN SHAKES SON'S MOBILE HOME WITH FRONT-END LOADER
For not paying the rent.
WIFE BITES HUSBAND'S SCROTUM DURING SCUFFLE
He sat on her head.