POLICE SEEK HYGIENE HEISTER

Police in St. Petersburg, Florida, are searching for a man seen stealing hundreds of dollars worth of hygiene products from a pharmacy store. Security cameras caught the “hygiene heister” entering the CVS Pharmacy and filling a duffel bag with the products before leaving without paying for them. He stole nearly $400 worth of deodorant and body wash.
* $400 worth of deodorant and body wash from CVS. That’s, what, like 6 bottles?
* $400 worth of deodorant. Are they Sure?
* This guy is Head and Shoulders above other shoplifters.
* They say he performed his crime with Zest.
* When they catch him, they’ll give him the third Degree.
* That store would have better security if they would just hire the Right Guard.
* Now the managers are in a lather.
* They really took a bath on this one.
* You’d think a police dog could track this guy in about 2 minutes. Either he smells like soap, or he smells like he needs soap.
* They could have done better than “Hygiene Heister”. How about:
– The B.O. Bandit
– The Stinky Stealer
– The Pitted Pilferer
– Public Enemy Smells Like #2
* I think we showed a lot of restraint here on the clean getaway line.
* I just ruined it, didn’t I?
* I think I understand what he’s doing. Get a lifetime supply in one shot and never worry about buying it again.
* I bet he has an entire woodshed full of paper towels.