FIRED TRUCKER DUMPS LOAD OF CORN
After being fired by text message.
MAN STABS FATHER WHO WANTED TO CIRCUMCISE HIM
He didn’t want his putz futzed.
CALIFORNIANS WANT TO SECEDE
Calexit.
WOMAN ATTEMPTS TO USE PIZZA SLICE AS I.D.
Surprisingly, pizza is not a valid means of I.D.
LOWE'S ROLLS OUT THE LOWEBOT
In California.
FLORIDA SURFER DIES THE DREAM
Pier pressure.
THE SPELLING BEE BANDIT
“Robery”
ELECTION FALLOUT: MALL SANTA FIRED FOR MAKING HILLARY JOKE
“You know who’s on the naughty list? HIllary.”
WOMAN SETS STORE ON FIRE BECAUSE THERE WERE NO SHOPPING CARTS
Oh, wait – there’s one. Sorry.