19-YEAR-OLD GIVES LOTTERY WIN TO PARENTS

A Michigan man who recently won $500,000 from a scratch-off lottery ticket plans to only keep $5,000 of the prize and give the rest to his parents. The unnamed 19-year-old winner said, “My parents have done so much for my sister and me. Helping them takes a big weight off of their shoulders and mine.” It was not immediately clear if the sister would get a cut of money as well.
* Did your parents teach you not to waste your money gambling? No, they didn’t.
* $5,000 is still a goodly amount of hookers and blow.
* Maybe he got this backwards. How about giving your parents 5 grand and keeping the rest for yourself?
* Wait’ll he hits his early 20’s and gets a real good picture of how hard life is.
* At least he’s getting his biggest regret in life over with early.
* Well, the contest to see which kid is their parents’ favorite just officially ended.
* Not a penny for the sister? That’s cold.
* Nice of the parents to say, “Wait, we can’t accept 99% of your winnings. That would be greedy.”
* Of course, the kid’s still responsible for the taxes.