THE PACKING PIGEON BANDIT
He’s pigeon-toed.
MAN EATS 5-1/2 POUND BURRITO
On purpose.
SANTA TELLS KID TO "LAY OFF THE BURGERS AND FRENCH FRIES"
Yeah, but the kid was 9.
STARBUCKS PLANNING YUUUUUUGE EXPANSION
Resistance is futile.
WOMAN TEARS UP EX-BOYFRIEND'S LAWN, BLARING XMAS MUSIC
Feliz Navi-dead.
CAT COPS!
Cat rats on fugitive.
$1,000 CHRISTMAS TREE
In New York City.
COMMUTER DROPS PHONE ON TRACKS, HITS EMERGENCY STOP
Then what are those emergency buttons for, anyway?
AIRPORT HIRES THERAPY PIG
When pigs fly.