MAN, TRAPPED IN BEER COOLER, DRINKS BEER ALL NIGHT
He could have knocked.
DRUG SUSPECT REFUSED TO UNCLENCH BUTT
Where the drugs were.
TWO LADIES LOST AT SEA FOR FIVE MONTHS
With their dogs.
COP TASERS 10-YEAR-OLD DURING SAFETY LECTURE
“Any questions?”
SUBWAY NOSE-PICKING MASTURBATOR AT LARGE
“Mr. Debonair”
BURGER KING OFFERS FREE WHOPPERS TO CREEPY CLOWNS ON HALLOWEEN
In select locations
MAN CHARGED IN MURDER, IMITATION OF 71-YEAR-OLD VICTIM
A clever disguise.
HOMEOWNERS FIND GUITAR-PLAYING INTRUDER
On the couch.
AMAZON WANTS TO OPEN YOUR FRONT DOOR
And we’re going to let them.