Why do Americans call it an elevator while the British call it a lift?
They were just raised differently.
Why did Bob Seger start playing chess?
He was working on the knight moves.
Why was the baby doctor angry?
He had little patience.
What type of pants do ghost hunters wear?
Just a paranormal jeans.
Does R2-D2 have any brothers?
No. Only trans-sisters.
Did you know the head of IKEA was elected president of Sweden?
He is currently assembling his Cabinet.
Where do math teachers go on vacation?
Times Square.
Did you know the man who invented the speedboat died?
His funeral is tomorrow, followed by a wake.
A gingerbread man goes to the doctor.
He says, “My knee hurts.” Doctor says, “Have you tried icing it?”
A man at the World Cup final notices there’s an empty seat in between himself and the next guy.
The man says, “Who would ever miss the World Cup final?” The other guy replies, “Well that was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.” The man, “That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another close family member to come with you?” The guy says, “No. They’re all at the funeral.”