Did you know that Tigger got a job at a nightclub?
He’s the bouncer.
A robot walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, “What’ll ya have?”
The robot says, “Well, it’s been a long day and I need to loosen up. How about a screwdriver?”
Man says, “I need to call a doctor.”
His wife says, “Which doctor?”
Guy says, “No, the regular kind.”
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
His grandmother calls to ask how he is. The nburse says, “No change yet”.
What do ghosts wear to the beach?
Sun scream.
Why did the guy quit playing the triangle in the reggae band?
Because it was the same ting over and over.
Guy goes to a psychiatrist.
He says, “I had a weird dream this morning. I saw my mother but then I noticed she had your face. It was so weird that I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. So I got up, made myself a slice of toast and came straight here. Can you tell me the meaning of my dream?” The psychiatrist says, “One slice of toast? You call that a breakfast?”
What do you call a dog that’s deaf and blind?
Old Helen Yeller.