A police officer stops him and asks, “Where are you going at this time?”
The drunk replies, “I’m going to attend a lecture.”
The police officer says “Who gives lectures at midnight?”
The drunk says, “My wife.”
They were groggy.
Because they’re Santa’s star bucks.
“But wait, there’s myrrh!”
Because his wife was a total flake.
So he’d get a lot of matches.
Santa walking backwards.
“Don’t let the door hit you in the ass five times on your way out.”
He had buck teeth.
He sees a man at the next table savoring a magnificent dish two giant meat balls. He asks the waiter, “What is that?” The waiter says, ” We make those special in celebration of today’s bullfight, but we only serve them once a day.” The tourist comes back the next dayu and orders the special, but the meatballs are tiny compared to what he saw before. He asks the waiter. “Yesterday’s were huge. These are so small. What gives?” The waiter shrugs and says: “Sí, señor… sometimes, the bull wins.”