What’s the difference between a golf ball and a Land Rover?
Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball over 300 yards.
A 70-year-old woman, miraculously, has a baby.
All of her family and relatives come to visit. When they ask to see the baby, the mom says, “Not yet.” A little later, they ask to see the baby again. Again, the woman says, “Not yet!” Finally they ask, “When can we see the baby?” The mother says, “When the baby cries.” They say, “Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?” The woman says, “Because I forgot where I put it.”
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later!
Why does it take longer to run from 2nd to 3rd base than any other bases?
Because there’s a short stop in between them.
Why should you wear glasses when doing math?
They really help with da vision.
Why did the puppy need to lose weight?
It was a little husky.
How did the magician get chocolate on his shirt?
He had some Twix up his sleeve.
What did the octopus say to the bagpipes?
“Nice pajamas.”