She asks, “Timmy, if I have five cats and give you two, how many cats do you have?”
Timmy says, “Three.”
Teacher, “No, it’s two. Now, if I have THREE cats and I give you ONE more, how many cats do you have?”
Timmy says, “Four.”
Teacher says, “No, I only gave you three cats total.”
Timmy, “Yeah, but I already have a damn cat.”
The problematic.
She says, “Yes, why?”
He says, “Because I’d have more room if you’d roll your arse back onto your side of the bed!”
He has a carrot on his shoulder.
Because he didn’t habanero.
Pharmacist says, “Yes you can.”
The guy says, “Can I get it over the counter?”
The pharmacist said, “I don’t know. Maybe if you take four or five of ’em.”
Because his mother was a wafer so long.
“Someone just fell off the roof of a nightclub!”
Operator says, “Who was it?”
“Caller says, “Well, it wasn’t the bouncer.”
He takes it outside to drink on a bench. A nun walks by and scolds him: “How can you pollute your soul with the Devil’s drink?” The man replies, “It’s not the Devil, it’s just whiskey.” They go back and forth, until the nun admits she’s never actually tasted whiskey. She says, “Maybe if I had just a sip, I’d understand better. But I can’t be seen drinking out here. Could you order me one in a teacup?” The man goes back inside, and says to the bartender: “Two whiskeys, but put one in a teacup, please.” The bartender yells: “Is that nun here AGAIN?!”