10 JOKE OF THE DAY

Bartender says, “That’ll be $5.” The guy takes out a huge pile of coins, throws $5 in pennies all over the bar. The bartender is annoyed but picks up the coins.
Next night the guy comes back, orders a beer, then slams $5 in pennies on the bar, drinks his beer and leaves.
He comes in the next night and orders a beer. This time he pays with a $10 bill. The bartender sees his chance for revenge. He goes to the register, counts out $5 in pennies, throws them on the bar. “There’s your change!”
Guy says, “On second thought, give me two beers.”

Because dawn is tough on Greece.

He says, “Hey, have you seen Quasimodo?
Priest says, “Yeah, he’s ’round back.”

He takes it outside to drink on a bench. A nun walks by and scolds him: “How can you pollute your soul with the Devil’s drink?” The man replies, “It’s not the Devil, it’s just whiskey.” They go back and forth, until the nun admits she’s never actually tasted whiskey. She says, “Maybe if I had just a sip, I’d understand better. But I can’t be seen drinking out here. Could you order me one in a teacup?” The man goes back inside, and says to the bartender: “Two whiskeys, but put one in a teacup, please.” The bartender yells: “Is that nun here AGAIN?!”

So he could spend money like there was no tomorrow.

A bulldozer.

The interviewer asks, “Where do you see yourself in the next 10 years?”
Man says, “As a customer.”

She couldn’t keep her calves together.

It’s a contact sport.

I think she’s going to take me up on it.