One goes in and asks a clerk for some four-by-twos. “You mean two-by-fours?” the clerk asks. The redneck says, “I’ll go check.” He goes back to the car, asks his buddy, and returns a minute later. “Yeah, two-by-fours will be fine,” he tells the clerk. “All right,” says the clerk. “And how long?” “Just a minute,” says the redneck,” and heads back out to the car. A minute later he comes back and tells the clerk. “A long time. We’re buildin’ a garage.”
Guy answers it, a sees a little man standing on the step. He says, “You’re not very tall are you”? Man says, ” I’m 3-foot 3.” Guy says, “So what do you want?” The guy says, “I’m the meter man.”
Because she’s Cardi B, not Cardio.
He made her Bed Rock.
All of her family and relatives come to visit. When they ask to see the baby, the mom says, “Not yet.” A little later, they ask to see the baby again. Again, the woman says, “Not yet!” Finally they ask, “When can we see the baby?” The mother says, “When the baby cries.” They say, “Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?” The woman says, “Because I forgot where I put it.”
He says, “So, do I come here often?”
The bartender says,, “What makes you say that?” Guy says, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work. She was so thrilled to have me around, that every time the mailman or a delivery man came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”
Because he really wanted to be a Smartie.
He had some Twix up his sleeve.