ELEPHANTS TRAMPLE CAR AFTER IT HIT A BABY ELEPHANT
That’ll buff right out.
MAN WITH HEADACHES FINDS CHOPSTICKS UP HIS NOSE
A guy woks in to a doctor’s office…
THREE-YEAR CRUISE CANCELED; PASSENGERS PISSED
That ship has sailed.
A.I. TRANSLATES CHICKEN
Ba-CAWWWWK!
ECO-ACTIVISTS ATTACKED BY BEAR THAT THEY SAY WASN’T THERE
Hey, follow the script!
CHINESE PRESIDENT XI TO SEND U.S. MORE PANDAS
He just took ’em back a week ago.
CROHN’S SUFFERER TREATS SELF WITH MOM’S STOOL, THEN EXPERIENCES MENOPAUSE
Mother’s little helper.
ROBOT MISTAKES WORKER FOR BOX, CRUSHES HIM
Well, that’s just crate.