OLDEST WOMAN IN WORLD TURNS 129, STILL WISHES SHE WERE DEAD
“I have not had a single happy day in my life.”
MAN PUMPS HIS FECES INTO EX-FRIEND’S MAIL SLOT
With a homemade pump.
IN SEARCH OF… THE LOCH NESS MONSTER’S DNA
A “global team of scientists.”
ANNE FRANK’S DIARY HAD DIRTY JOKES
Why, Anne Frank, you little scamp!
ROYAL WEDDING: SOMEONE’S SPRAY-PAINTING “FORK” ALONG THE ROUTE
Quizzical graffiti.
FINLAND’S ALL-FEMALE ISLAND RESORT
Opening in June.
AUDIO: SEXUALITY EXPERT SUGGESTS ASKING BABY IF IT’S OK TO CHANGE DIAPER
Still waiting for an answer, Junior.
THIEF STEALS MCDONALD’S MONOPOLY PIECES
That’s not playing fair.
MAN’S DEAD BODY FOUND BEHIND LADIES ROOM WALL
The wall at the mall.
FAMILY INSTALLS ALARM FOR WHEN NEIGHBOR’S KIDS PLAY IN BACKYARD
It’s the Canada way.