BEAUTY PAGEANT CONTESTANT MISHEARS NAME DURING SEMIFINALS
No, not you. Go back.
DIRECTOR OF THE LOUVRE DOESN’T LOSE HER JOB AFTER ROBBERY
Resignation unaccepted.
CHINESE RESTAURANT FISH TANK BREAKS
“Sea bass?” “Yes, I see it coming now.”
LOUVRE ROBBED
Zut alors!
PICASSO STOLEN
Take a picture, why don’tcha?
ENGLAND INVADED BY OCTOPUSES
Eight (million) arms to hold you.
WAS THERE INSIDER BETTING ON NOBEL PEACE PRIZE WINNER?
You bet there was.
OLD WOMAN SWALLOWS LIVE FROGS, GETS PARASITES
I toad you it wouldn’t work.
FLIGHT LANDS WITH JUST 6 MINUTES OF FUEL LEFT
Jeeze, that doesn’t even get you taxied to your gate.