TWO FIGHTING PYTHONS FALL THROUGH KITCHEN CEILING
Gilliam and Cleese, I bet.
HELP WANTED: NAKED MOVER
Your junk can help move our junk.
MAN PUBLISHING HAND-WRITTEN NOVEL
I’ll wait for the movie.
HYPNOTHERAPY CURES WOMAN’S FEAR OF FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
20 years of mac & cheese.
87-YEAR-OLD IRONMAN STILL COMPETING
No rust yet on this guy.
DUTCH MASTERWORK PAINTING STOLEN FOR THE THIRD TIME
Time to replace the batteries in the burglar alarm.
UNIVERSITY WILL PAY YOU FOR DOING NOTHING
Usually in college, it’s vice-versa.