BRITISH MAN GROWING A NEW PENIS ON HIS ARM
Because the old one fell off, you see.
WOMAN ATTACKED WITH HAT FULL OF GLUE
Buckets of rain, hat full of glue
5G ON MOUNT EVEREST
Can’t talk now, Mom, it’s my turn to summit.
4-YEAR-OLD POET GETS PUBLISHING DEAL
And he wrote them all himself. Uh huh.
TOO MANY OVERWEIGHT TOURISTS FOR VENICE GONDOLIERS
We’re gonna need a bigger boat.
AUDIO: BRITISH COUPLE NAMES THEIR SON LUCIFER
The hell you say.
AUDIO: WATER PARK TAINTED WITH BEAR SPRAY
And where’s the fun in that?
TRUCK FULL OF COVID-19 HIJACKED IN SOUTH AFRICA
Step 3: profit.