MAN SHOOTS HIMSELF WITH CROSSBOW
Cross(bow) my heart and hope to (not) die.
MAN KILLED WITH FORKLIFT LOAD
Book ’em. Mortar One.
AMAZON WORKER LOSES ENGAGEMENT RING WHILE PACKING BOXES
Be on the lookout.
GERMAN HOTEL BANS OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE
No appropriate furniture.
BELGIAN MAN TORMENTED BY ANONYMOUS PIZZA DELIVERIES
Ten years of unwanted pizza.
TONY’S CHOCOLONELY CHOCOLATE CIRCUS
Ride the rides, learn about the plight of poor cocoa farmers.
WOMAN FLIES INTO RAGE, DEFECATES ON EX-BOYFRIEND’S PORCH
Poop on the stoop.
AUDIO: MAN TELLS AUSTRALIA’S PRIME MINISTER TO GET OFF HIS LAWN
And it wasn’t Clint Eastwood, either.
MAN GOES BERSERK OVER MISSED MUSTARD ON HAMBURGER
Mean, missed his mustard.
MEXICAN SENATOR GOES TOPLESS DURING GOVERNMENT ZOOM MEETING
The camera is always on.