MCDONALD’S HAS $100 MILLION IN UNUSED FOOD IN RUSSIA
Quarter poundski.
AUDIO: RUSSIA DEPLOYS SPY DOLPHINS
They are faster than lightning, you know.
AUDIO: FIRST AIRPORT FOR FLYING CARS OPENS
Opens to what?
MAN CAUGHT SMUGGLING GOLD UNDER HIS WIG
You have toupée the piper.
BOY USES THE INDIANA-JONES-IN-A-REFRIGERATOR METHOD TO SURVIVE LANDSLIDE
All that’s missing is the whip and the hat.
ELECTRIC CHOPSTICKS INCREASE SENSE OF TASTING SALT
(zzzap) Domo arigato, may I have another?
SIX BRAZILIAN SAILORS RESCUED FROM DESERT ISLAND
Boy, that’s a lot of sailors.
105-YEAR-OLD WOMAN GETS THIGH TATTOOS
With a torso even more so.
MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE FOUND FROM 1966
♪♫ I’ll send an SOS / to the Humber Estuary… ♫