MONDAY – July 6
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8 YEAR-OLD BOY IS THE BILLIONTH VISITOR AT DISNEYLAND***
***Not ACTUALLY the billionth visitor.
CANDY MAN CALLS POLICE ON HIMSELF
Since when is an old man offering kids candy considered suspicious?
MAN HAS CAR STOLEN WHILE HE’S BURGLARIZING STORE
No honor among thieves.
MAN WAKES UP TO A HOTEL ROOM FULL OF BATS
And not Louisville Sluggers.
NATHAN’S – YAWN – HOT DOG EATING CONTEST. MEH.
Pass the mustard.
“IT’S A SMALL WORLD” BURNS, BUT NOT ENOUGH
Better luck next time.
THE TAYLOR SWIFT-TRAVIS KELCE WEDDING
Hold hands, you two lovebirds.
WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (July 3-5)
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