GODZILLA VS. KONG: THE “SCIENCE”

So, who’s going to win? Kiersten Formoso, a PhD Student in Vertebrate Paleontology at the University of Southern California, has written a piece for Warner Bros. films – er, for a website called “TheConversation” – breaking down the fighting advantages of each computer-generated, imaginary animal.
(The full piece is here: theconversation(dot)(com)/godzilla-vs-kong-a-functional-morphologist-uses-science-to-pick-a-winner-157101)
– She points out that both Kong and Godzilla are beyond the laws of physics. Their hearts couldn’t pump blood to their heads, they would have temperature regulation problems and it would take too long for nerve signals from the brain to reach distant parts of the body – to name just a few issues.
– Kong has thick muscular legs geared toward walking, running and jumping, and large free arms with grasping hands, enabling him to use tools. He has a flexible torso and arms that can throw things.
– Recent Godzilla movies show him decently mobile on land, but seemingly much more comfortable in the water. Godzilla may have gills. Godzilla stands vertically in a posture resembling a standing kangaroo. and keeps his tail low to the ground. It’s the tail that’s the key. Godzilla’s tail is what really separates him from Kong. It gives him stability and he can swing it as a weapon, like an alligator.
– Kong is faster and more agile on land, and he probably packs a stronger punch.
– Both would have a strong bite, with Kong likely getting a slight advantage. However, Godzilla has pointy, flesh-piercing lizard teeth. Also, Godzilla has atomic breath.
– On defense, Godzilla has the edge, with thick scaly skin and sharp spikes. He might even act like a porcupine, turning his back to a rapidly approaching threat. However, Kong’s superior agility on land should be able to offer him some protection as well.
– Formoso gives a slight edge to Kong in a land battle, although she says Godzilla’s general mass, defense and tail would be hard to overpower. She doesn’t specify a winner.
* Your tuition money hard at work, USC students’ parents.
* I think she spent more time thinking about this than the screenwriter.
* I’d like to see Godzilla rock back on his tail like a kangaroo, and then kick Kong with both feet. Has he ever done that?
* Doesn’t Godzilla have a guy inside him? You just have to wait for him to come out to go to the bathroom, and Kong wins.
* I want to see Kong return to Skull Island wearing a pair of lizard-skin boots.
* One more thing – if you’ve ever wondered why Kong and Godzilla are so angry in the first place? No wieners.
* None of this matters. Kong and Godzilla both have amazing healing powers which always – ALWAYS – allow them to come back in another movie. And they always will.