CORK IN THE EYE CAUSES CRUISE SHIP DELAY

Royal Caribbean’s cruise ship Independence of the Seas didn’t get far from its Florida port last Thursday when a passenger on board got hit by a flying champagne cork and needed to be taken off the ship by an emergency crew. Cruise line spokeswoman Cynthia Martinez said the woman’s right eye was struck by a cork from a champagne bottle she had brought on board. The woman was initially treated in the ship’s medical facility, but required additional and urgent medical attention so the cruise ship stopped off shore while the Miami-Dade Fire Rescue fireboat went out to collect the passenger and take her to the Bascom Palmer Eye Institute.
* “Cruises are great,” my eye!
* Independence of the Seas? Independence of the Can’t Sees, more like.
* At least the Bascom Palmer Eye Institute got a nice plug.
* How often does this happen, that there’s an eye clinic right next to the ship’s port?
* Time to switch to wine in a box.
* This is why you wear those goggles if your team wins a championship.
* “We finally made it to our big cruise, honey. Let’s celebrate with some champagne!”
* Corks can really fire off. This is why you can have a magnum gun or a magnum of champagne.
* Other crazy cruise ship injuries? Well, there are the shuffleboard injuries.
* Then there’s the standard shipboard epidemic until finally, you settle in, get over the sea sickness, and await the arrival of the Somali pirates.
* PHONE TOPIC: “I once held up a lot of people from doing something.”