YOUR DOG IS OVERWEIGHT
Not YOUR dog, of course.
LET’S ALL WORRY ABOUT AN ASTEROID HITTING THE MOON
Tell me when it happens, I don’t want to miss a thing.
COPS ARREST CHUCK E. CHEESE FOR CREDIT CARD THEFT
Someone ratted him out.
SCHOOL DISTRICT BANS DOCTOR’S NOTES FOR ABSENCES
Suck it up, students!
NAKED BOAT THIEF ESCAPES FROM HOSPITAL IN LAB COAT
Today’s Mad Libs Headline.
AUDIO: FLORIDA COUPLE RECEIVES THOUSANDS OF BOTTLES OF DISH SOAP FROM AMAZON
Dawn, go away I’m no good for you.
HERSHEY RAISING PRICES
Gimme a break!
FLORIDA MAN YELLS “PSYCH!”, SPEEDS AWAY FROM COP
Promptly hits a truck.
PEACOCK THEFT
Who’s the dirty bird doing this?