SCIENTIST DECODE WHALE-SPEAK
I speak whale.
CO-FOUNDER OF CROOKED BEVERAGE ACCUSED OF EMBEZZLEMENT
Truth in labeling.
PLANE DECLARES EMERGENCY AFTER SOMEONE VAPES MARIJUANA ON BOARD
Fly the astral plane.
BUC-EE’S VS. NUT HUGGERS: BATTLE OF THE BEAVERS
Legal briefs.
COST OF THANKSGIVING DINNER 𝖴̶𝖯̶ 𝖣̶𝖮̶𝖶̶𝖭̶ OH, WHO THE HELL KNOWS?
According to e̶x̶p̶e̶r̶t̶s̶ idiots.
DRIVER TRIES TO GET OUT OF TICKET WITH “GET OUT OF JAIL FREE” CARD
That would screw up the whole Operation.
SMUGGLING BUDGIES
And the other parakeet says, “Yeah, but did you see the size of that worm?”
AIRLINES CLAIM WINDOWLESS SEAT IS STILL A WINDOW SEAT
And will charge you extra for it.
AMUSEMENT PARK VANDALS SURRENDER TO POLICE
Tom Hanks needs to kick some ass.