STRIPPER ASSAULTS PATRON WHO TOLD HER SHE NEEDED TO GO TO THE GYM
She had a muffin top.
MAN SHOOTS NEIGHBOR'S TOILET
Through the wall.
DARTH VADER ROBS CONVENIENCE STORE
Clerk clobbers him with salad dressing.
AUDIO: ROBBER HAS MACHETE, CLERK HAS BIGGER MACHETE
Just like in Crocodile Dundee.
DRUNK DRIVER CALLS IN FAKE 911 TO DISTRACT POLICE
But then she texted about it.
AMISH GUY RUNS MARATHONS FULLY CLOTHED
Long pants, long shirt.
BRIDE OF FOUR DAYS STABS HUSBAND
Multiple times.
WOMAN TAKES PSYCH TEST WHILE IN LABOR
She finished in the delivery room.
LOUISVILLE BOOGER ALERT
Someone’s leaving boogers on the men’s room wall.