19-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE SNOWFLAKE GETS LIFESIZE CUTOUT OF DOG HE WILL MISS

When 19-year-old Jake Ostrowski began packing up his things for his first year at college, there was one thing he was pretty bummed to not be able to bring along: his golden retriever, Jesse. “I love my dog, he sleeps with me every night,” Ostrowski, who’s from Houston, says. “I’ve been really sad because I’ve got to leave him to go to college.” His mom, Sharla, had the perfect solution. On Thursday, she surprised him with a life-size cardboard cutout of Jesse. Ostrowski shared the cutout on Twitter, and wrote that he was “so excited” when he saw the cutout. “I’m sure anyone would love a cardboard cutout of their dog,” he said. “It can be kind of scary going off to college,” Ostrowski, who left for Texas Tech on Friday, said. “But now I’ve got my dog in my dorm with me.”
* Well, by now I’m sure Jake has been beaten up a couple of times for being a puss.
* Did mom pack all of his trophies and certificates of participation, too?
* Darn it – Sharla will probably turn this into a million-dollar business.
* Hey, it’s 2016. Just Skype with your dog for half an hour every day.
* Sharla the mom can put her phone in a different room each day, and Jake can call “Jesse! C’mon boy! Can you find me? Here, boy!”
* Then Sharla can clean up the ripped furniture when the dog gets tired of being jerked around.
* I wouldn’t call it a perfect solution. I’d call it a big picture of a dog.
* “But now I’ve got my dog in my dorm with me”? No, you’ve got a piece of cardboard.
* I mean it isn’t even a dog hologram.
* The only positive is that you don’t have to take cardboard for a walk.

* PHONE TOPIC: Is having your mom do this for you acceptable? Shouldn’t you be a little more grown up by age 19?