STARBUCKS TO CUSTOMER: "DIABETES HERE I COME"
Customer didn’t get the joke.
BURGER KING HIT WITH PRANK CALL
The old “break all the windows” gag.
MAN FACES PRISON OVER TRUMP FLAG
He’s not allowed to fly it until May 7.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR HAS FAMILY DIG HOLE
And that was just the beginning of the problems.
MOM MAD AT SON FOR SMOKING ALL THE METH
Well, yeah, he did.
ROBBER SPRAYS SELF WITH FIRE EXTINGUISHERS TO ELUDE POLICE
It didn’t work, of course.
RADIO STATION SIGNAL HIJACKED
Skiers had to listen to a podcast from upstate New York. This should be a federal crime.
DOCTORS REMOVE OCTOPUS FROM BOY'S THROAT
A small one, intended for sushi.
TEACHER GIVES STUDENTS PRIVILEGE SURVEY
In Spanish class.
DRUG SUSPECT ATTEMPTS TO ESCAPE ON HOVERBOARD
Key word: attempts.