PAPA JOHN'S BEGINS FAST PASS PIZZA
Jump the line for 2.99
GIRLFRIEND SHOOTS MAN IN CROTCH, ELSEWHERE
Hey – fireworks!
GIRL SCOUT COOKIES DEMANDED TO COVER DEBT
Cash or cookies.
TWO PEOPLE WANT TO GO AROUND THE MOON
And come back, presumably.
ROBBER ARMED WITH SNOWBALL
Pow, right in the kisser.
NEW GYM FOR STONERS
Getting high will be encouraged.
CANDIDATE KICKED OFF THE BALLOT DUE TO INFREQUENT TOILET FLUSHES
Two per day is not enough.
TEST DRIVER STEALS MASERATI
A very cunning plan.