POLICE PULL OVER 11-YEAR-OLD SPEEDER
It’s OK, officer – mom said I could.
SNAKE HUNTER NABS 14-FOOT PYTHON CARRYING 73 EGGS
Aww, a mom-to-be.
MUSEUM FINDS STASH OF VALUABLE WINE
50 bottles x $20,000
SUICIDAL MAN DOUSES SELF WITH GASOLINE; COP USES TASER
Flaming idiots.
STEAKHOUSE CANNIBAL
Woman bites another diner’s arm.
NUDE BEACH SWIMMER BITTEN BY SHARK
(Not there.)
GUYS SET NEW CANNONBALL RUN RECORD IN A TESLA
51 hours, 47 minutes.
CAMPER WAKES UP TO BEAR MUNCHING ON HIS HEAD
Nature’s alarm clock.