COCAINE FOUND IN COOKIE MONSTER DOLL
No wonder his eyes are all googly.
WOMAN IS ASKED TO TURN TV DOWN, SHE SETS HOUSE ON FIRE
Request came from ex-husband, which might have had something to do with it.
POLICE PULL OVER 11-YEAR-OLD SPEEDER
It’s OK, officer – mom said I could.
SNAKE HUNTER NABS 14-FOOT PYTHON CARRYING 73 EGGS
Aww, a mom-to-be.
MUSEUM FINDS STASH OF VALUABLE WINE
50 bottles x $20,000
SUICIDAL MAN DOUSES SELF WITH GASOLINE; COP USES TASER
Flaming idiots.
STEAKHOUSE CANNIBAL
Woman bites another diner’s arm.
NUDE BEACH SWIMMER BITTEN BY SHARK
(Not there.)