HOUSTON: NOW THE FIRE ANTS
Fire ants are jerks.
MAN TRIES TO RUN OVER MANAGER WHO WOULD NOT HIRE HIM
At a gas station.
OREO TO RELEASE MYSTERY FLAVOR COOKIE
Mmmm…mystery flavor…
WOMAN SUES COMPANY OVER RESTRICTED USE OF TOILET PAPER
A tissue issue.
AUDIO: TEEN CAUGHT SMUGGLING BENGAL TIGER CUB FROM MEXICO
He followed me home?
AUDIO: WHOLE FOODS LOWERING PRICES
Finally, affordable kale chips.
UNITED PILOT FREAKS OUT PASSENGERS
“He seemed angry.”