FRIED CHICKEN BEER
“It doesn’t even remotely taste like chicken.”
BEAR TRASHES CAR, TAKES IT FOR A RIDE
Does a bear crap in a car in the woods?
SENATOR ORRIN HATCH DEFINES "SHOT THEIR WAD"
“They shot their wad on health care.”
RAPPER BRAGS OF SURVIVING 11 SHOOTINGS, BUT NOT THE TWELFTH
“I’m bulletproof.”
PROFESSOR LETS STUDENTS PICK THEIR OWN GRADES
It eliminates stress, man.
AUDIO: ARRESTEE SINGS PEARL JAM FOR THE CAMERAS
“Freezin’ rests his head on a pillow made of concrete again!”
GET PAID TO LOOK ATTRACTIVE AT PARTIES
But not much.
DON'T ORDER DIET COKE ON AN AIRPLANE
Flight attendants have a Coke problem.
AUDIO: DUNKIN' DONUTS THINKING ABOUT DROPPING 'DONUTS'
Great idea, ad geniuses!
ARMADILLO DEFLECTS BULLETS
Shooter hit in face.