COMPANY WILL MICROCHIP WORKERS
Is it 1984 already?
MAN NAMED FELLONY CHARGED WITH MULTIPLE YOU-KNOW-WHATS
Named after his father, I bet.
POKER PLAYER LOSES 70 POUNDS FOR MILLION DOLLAR BET
In six months.
MAN TRIES TO ROB THREE BANKS IN A HALF HOUR
He was 1/3 successful, except for the whole “getting caught” thing.
UBER DRIVER SEEKS PASSENGERS WHO WILL VOMIT
He gets more money.
AUDIO: GUY LOSES CAR AT METALLICA CONCERT
Parents offer reward.
WOMAN CONVICTED OF MURDER WITH PARROT TESTIMONY
Stool pigeon.
MAN OVERBOARD SAVED BY FLOATING PROSTHETIC LEG
While fishing alone.